apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just high enough for therapy.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
