I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
