I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
