butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
