the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
His nipple licking is glorious
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