areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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