how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
