Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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