OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
