some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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