brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
