you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
