well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
