exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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