There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
whose ass print is on the piano?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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