were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
