I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize