I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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