Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
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