Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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