yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize