I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
