if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
false alarm, still single
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