I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
