hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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