new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
