At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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