is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
