I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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