I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She even gives head with a lisp.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
