i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
