is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Randomize
