White coat. Heels.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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