you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
