Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She needs sedatives and a leash
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
