If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Boobs are out for the taking
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
