i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize