how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
