Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize