Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
