Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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