I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
