he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
