walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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