But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
