there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
