Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize