On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
