I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
