Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
