Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he told me I talked like a deaf person
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
