i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
