So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
