sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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