I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
