Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
