I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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