this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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