remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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