he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
