I just made out with a guy for $7.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize