I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
another moral hangover. fuck.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
