if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
